Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm too high and old for this...
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
