he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
