You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
