look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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