i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
i've created a new STD.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
