Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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