guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize