i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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