Can Purell be used as lube?
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
