i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
