so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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