Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
