What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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