My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
