i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize