Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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