I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Send help, water and tortillas.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
