i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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