i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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