I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Randomize