Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You have to summon your inner elephant
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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