My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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