I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
