Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
