I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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