you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
