State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
