can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
