Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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