YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
