YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
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