If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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