that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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