4 words: hood of his car
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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