You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
