I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
