The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
