Pappa wants mamma naked
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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