I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
