to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
