I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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