I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
