woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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