What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
