I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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