A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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