Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
