Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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