you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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