Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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