I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
