If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
