Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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