oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
only if we run a train.
done.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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