Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
