i barfeds in our rink
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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