So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
