Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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