The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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