It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
