wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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