Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
