The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
