I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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