Fuck appropriateness.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
